"Better Relationships: Ten Top Tips"

We all want to get along better with others. Sometimes it just feels so damn awkward with certain people though! Wouldn't it be great if we knew simple principles that enabled us to experience more satisfying relationships.

The following Top Ten Tips offer you some simple advice that you can begin to apply right now.

• Remember that however unreasonable someone is acting their behaviour is derived from a positive intention. When you 'act as if' all behaviour has a positive intention behind it, through discovering it, your life will become more pleasant. An example: You meet an angry person and you think how childish and silly they are. But if you were to ask yourself, "what is the positive intention behind this persons angry behaviour?", you could come up with something useful that allows you to feel more comfortable. For instance people often act angry because behind this they believe it will protect them from harm.
• When you find yourself feeling uncomfortable in an interaction 'get some perspective' by disassociating. In your minds eye see yourself and the other person interacting over there, rather like you would if you were to see a movie of the situation.
• Step into their shoes. This is one of the most powerful methods for gaining wisdom about your relationships. To begin you imagine communicating with the other person, noticing how they talk, observe their facial expressions and so on. You then 'step into their shoes' and see through their eyes and hear through their ears. So of course you will be looking at yourself! Run through a conversation you've had before that could of been better. Notice 'yourself' and become aware of how seeing things from this other persons perspective gives you knew insights into the relationship. This method is described in more detail in my free mini-course.
• What assumptions are you making about the other person? Are you willing to challenge those assumptions? Pick one. What is the opposite of that? Eg) Narrow minded/Open minded. Now imagine interacting with the person with this new attitude.
• Step into the 'WE' frame: Think about a person you want to get along with better. Disassociate: Picture both of you interacting in your minds eye. Now allow yourself to find a common purpose between the two of you. Of course if you can't come up with anything you can always fall back on the fact that you are just two human beings who are trying to experience more happiness.
• 'Funify' your boss (or that irritating colleague): Many people experience difficulties communicating with their boss. It's often due to being too serious. So here is a simple, quick way to inject the antidote: FUN! Ok, picture your boss or whoever. And then notice their facial features. What stands out? Is it their nose, their eyes, eye brows, chin? Now you simply exaggerate those features rather like a caricature cartoonist does. Exaggerate and 'funify' it in such a way that it makes you laugh or at least feel better towards the relationship.
• No Failure, Only Feedback (or Learning Experiences.) A really useful way to make beneficial changes is to view everything as a learning experience. So thinking about a relationship you find challenging, notice how you usually respond to the person and then ask yourself, "How else could I respond?" How many different ways could you respond in your interactions? Come up with at least 3 possibilities. This enables your mind to generate more flexibility of behaviour.
• Often when we experience difficulties in our relationships it is due to focusing on faults. This distorts our perception of the overall relationship, which is really a mixture of good and bad qualities. To re-focus our attention on the bigger picture begin to remember qualities you admire in the other person. Come up with three, picture them, increase the size of the images and place them around an image of the 'faulty' qualities of the person. And remember positive intention, take a look at Tip 1 again!
• What would be the consequence of staying stuck in the same relationship dynamic with a particular person, say 25 years from now?! The fact is if you want to experience better relationships YOU are going to have to change your viewpoints or attitude. It's OK, this can be fairly simple. Imagine stepping into the future 25 years from now and look back at that relationship and notice that it has remained in the same stuck pattern year after year for 25 years! Looking at it like this, acting as if it could really happen, allow your feelings to arise that make you say, "enough is enough I MUST change!"
• Think of someone you would like to get along with better. Choose someone of medium level "problematic-ness" and then read the follow questions slowly: Isn't it true that all of the problems that we experience when relating to others is due to OUR feelings? What if we were to change our feelings? This could make things easier didn't it?

If you want to experience more satisfying relationships you are going to have to gain some new perspectives. Applying one or more of the methods above will help you achieve this more easily!

"Unlock Your Creative Inspiration"

You know the human mind, your mind, is truly awesome. Everything we see around us, incredible architecture, paintings, wondrous machines and the amazing musical masterpieces of the ages all started in someone’s imagination!

We all possess this creative mechanism.

Sometimes though we become, "stuck in a rut" or start to, "see blank", or we "hit a brick wall." These are common phrases used by people that are in 'stuck states.' Their mind is unwilling to go else where.

Just what is this state of mind and more interestingly how can we discover proven methods to ease out of it, swiftly and smoothly, into inspired and creative states of being?!

If we were to look inside their mind we would likely discover that their 'stuckness' was in fact a bit like a video loop. It would be as if they were repeating a short clip of a movie over and over: Hit a brick wall... back to the beginning and... repeat...

So how can you snap out of these loops?

Here's a lickety-split way: Switch Representational System

It's easier than it sounds honest! Look at that person over there. She looks like she's in a bit of stymie. "Hey how's tricks? You look like you could do with some creative inspiration?! Ahhhh ok, Lisa, let's see what we can do then..."

First of all notice where and how you feel that stuck state. Where on/in your body is that feeling? I bet it's not in your little toe or is it?!

Good. Now switch representational system by giving that feeling a colour. 'As you notice that feeling what colour represents that best?' Just go with the first colour.

And if you wish you could now give that feeling a sound. 'What sound represents this feeling?'

Great, well done!

You've done the main part. What you have done is to access a different part of your mind by representing the feeling in a different sensory system (Visual/Auditory.)

If you wanted, just for fun, you could even represent the feeling as a smell or taste! 'What does this feeling smell/taste like?'

With that you have instantly accessed multiple resources from different brain centres, allowing the creative process to emerge.

What you can do next is to explore the new representation in it's own sense system. So for example let's say the feeling you had, looked like black foggy cloud and sounded like a dull and distant tinny sounding radio.

The next step is to PLAY with these images and sounds.

For example what happens if you 'paint' a silver lining around the black clouds?

If you were to imagine bringing that radio closer how would the sound quality alter? Turn the dial?

I think you get the basic gist by now, so go ahead and give it a go and get wild and wacky because humour is always good for a laugh isn't it?!

So what happens now when you think about the 'stuck state'? Your feelings have changed!

This process enables your mind to have more choice. Instead of getting stuck in a 'dead end' pathway, you have numerous ones to choose from. And more choice equals more flexibility, which equals more creativity.

Creativity is just a state of mind that can be triggered with specific mental strategies and can be enhanced by exploring other perspectives using a variety of tools. And the great thing is, the more you practice creative thinking, the more creative you become!

Simply by learning to use our brains in more diverse ways we can discover the master keys to unlocking the power of our creative imagination!

"Free Hypnosis Downloads: Finding High Quality Hypnosis"

If you are curious about Hypnosis, one of the best ways to discover how beneficial it can be is to listen to a high quality free hypnosis download. Now the important point to keep in mind is that some Hypnosis products are of poor quality and they employ ineffective hypnotic techniques.

Many hypnosis products use what is known as direct hypnosis. The Hypnotist makes direct statements such as, "You will be confident" and repeats these affirmations throughout the recording. This hypnotic process can get results, however the persons conscious mind tends to 'battle' against the direct suggestions with self-talk such as, "no I'm not confident.'

A much more elegant and effective approach is to use what is commonly known as Ericksonian Hypnosis, named after one of the most successful Hypnotherapists that's ever lived: Milton H. Erickson. This hypnotic process makes use of the power of Metaphor and story telling and it therefore tends to bypass your conscious mind and works directly with the unconscious mind. Right where you want it! This style of Hypnosis is well suited to an audio recording because you simply relax and listen to the narrative and music in the background.

The highest quality free hypnosis downloads utilise the power of NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming.) NLP is a field of Psychology that models human excellence. NLP models precisely what an exceptional person has done inside their mind to get a desired result or outcome. Eg) They increased their feeling of confidence in public speaking by a factor of three. So good quality hypnosis audio incorporates NLP language structures into the process to encourage you to experience unconscious change.

One of the other benefits of listening to a free hypnosis download is that it is very safe to do so. You know how long the session will last, say 15 to 20 minutes and if you feel the need, you can simply open your eyes and turn the download off. So you have complete control!

By listening to a Hypnosis session you could change your life, become inspired, open up to new possibilities/opportunities and start to fulfill your dreams. Or if nothing else you just get to relax and listen to an interesting story accompanied with soothing music. So really, what have you got to lose?

Colin G Smith is a licensed Master Practitioner of NLP and offers you a FREE Hypnosis Download session by New York Hypnotherapist, R. Siegal, called "Dream Beyond Your Dreams!", a powerful and inspiring NLP / Ericksonian Hypnosis Journey that could radically change your life!

Get it now while it's still free!

http://www.PowerfulFreeHypnosisAudio.com

"The Swish Pattern: Change Habits Quickly With NLP"

The Swish Pattern was discovered by using Neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) to model what people do inside their minds. So the fact is you actually do "Swish's" already! The Siwsh Pattern Technique will enable you to consciously create the changes you want in a powerful way.

Have you ever heard the phrase, "you get more of what you focus on?" I'm sure you have because it's a popular phrase that is an accurate description of how the mind works. For example if I were to ask you to remember a favourite holiday experience and as you recall it now I could get you to focus on more and more aspects by asking what specifically did you see, hear, smell, taste and feel in the experience.

So what happens with behavioural and thinking habits is that the mind focus's on something and goes in that direction; rather like a guided missile. Of course not being perfect enlightened beings just yet our minds acquire unwanted habits. We can use NLP's Swish Pattern technique to re-direct our brain away from the unwanted focus, towards a new wanted directional focus.

This 'away from X, towards Y' principle creates a very powerful motivational strategy known as a propulsion system. The Swish Pattern makes full use of this principle to generate quick and effective results.

One of the great things about the swish pattern is that it creates generative change. Remedial change is where you fix problem X, such as a phobia of dogs, and that is that. Generative change on the other hand generalises change into other areas of your life. Because the Swish Pattern utilises Self-Image as part of the technique you can look forward to greater self-esteem in other areas of your life.

To clarify what I mean imagine you used 'the swish' to resolve a habit of feeling low self-esteem when asserting yourself with your partner. Because of the generative aspect of the technique you would probably be pleased to discover feelings of greater self-esteem in other areas of your life too. For example when talking to a certain colleague.

You know, your mind learns quickly! The Swish Pattern makes use of the Half Second Rule principle which allows your mind to be reprogrammed in such a way as to make the change stick and become automatic! Just imagine that, no need to keep consciously remembering to focus on the new direction. Once you've done the Swish Pattern you will have re-wired your brain and the new habit will be on auto-pilot!

"Fast Phobia Cure: Get Results Within 10 Minutes"

Even now that fact is hard for many people to accept! The truth is though, the Fast Phobia Cure has now been in existence for over twenty years and has been used successfully on 100's of thousands of people. From simple Poodle Phobias to more extreme cases such as Vietnam war survivors with horrific traumatic memories. Gone are the months of psycho-therapy, reliving pain and spending loads of your hard earned cash.

I suspect you've probably heard of NLP by now. To keep it simple NLP is a technology that enables people to model human excellence. The original co-creators of NLP, Bandler & Grinder created the Fast Phobia Cure by modelling people who had had phobias and gotten rid of them. NLP states that, "What one person can do, another person can learn to do the same" : Modelling.

So Bandler & Grinder asked these people specific questions to discover what went on in their heads and created the Fast Phobia Cure technique. The First part of the process involves disassociation. That is, you see yourself in the phobic situation as if on a movie screen. Just this one step is very useful because it allows you to have feelings about the feelings: Meta Feelings. This enables you to gain useful insights and access more resources.

The next part of the process involves re-organising the structure of the phobic response: The anchored associations and triggers that make you have the phobic response. The way this is achieved is by imagining the movie being rewound, so you experience everything backwards. This is done very fast utilising the Half Second Rule.

Doing this process scrambles the phobic associations and re-organises your brains synapses so that you learn to have new responses. The entire technique can be learned and applied in less than 10 minutes.

Classically the technique is known as the Fast Phobia Cure, however I prefer to call it the Anxiety Removal Machine because it can be used to successfully remove anxious feelings associated with future events and not just phobias.

I believe many more people need to know about this amazing technique along with other rapid change techniques that utilise the Half Second Rule. There are many people suffering in the world who would be very pleased to learn about techniques that can 'fix them' within 10 minutes!

"How to Raise Self Esteem: Part Two"

In this second part of the article about how to raise self esteem I would like to introduce you to a wonderful technique from the field of Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) known as 'The Swish.'

Using this technique you can re-program your thought process's to move away from the unwanted behaviour (i.e. "I am a useless person") towards a healthier thinking process such as, "I am learning to be more resourceful." It's one of the quickest ways to re-direct your habitual thinking patterns!

To give this process a go right now please answer the following simple question: Think of a specific situation where you feel low-self esteem, for example standing in a long queue or speaking in public orasserting yourself with someone.

Become aware of the first picture you see through your own eyes just before you feel the crappy feelings. We'll call this the cue image.

Now put that aside for a moment and ask yourself the following, "If I were to think of something that made me feel good how would that feel now?"

It's important to remember that this doesn't need to be something perfect. The question is, "Does it feel better than the low self esteem feeling?" If you're having difficulty accessing a good feeling try the following:

Think about your favourite pet/animal.

How many things can you feel gratitude for?
What is your favourite food?
Who do you admire?
Which music turns you on?

That feels better right? So if you were to symbolise that good feeling what would it look like? It can just be a colour if you wish!

Notice that when you look at that symbol and make it bigger and bring it closer and crank up the colour and brightness it makes you feel even better doesn't it.

So the next step to re-program you mind is about to begin!

Picture that cue-image again if you will. You know the one that cued up the crappy feelings. Bring it closer and make it bigger and brighter.

Now in the middle place a small, postage stamp sized image of the 'good feeling symbol.'

This is the exciting part; the actual swish.

Imagine zooming the crappy feeling cue image off into the distance, noticing it getting smaller and dimmer as it goes off away from you.

AND at the same time bring the good feeling symbol closer and make it bigger and brighter.

Then blank the screen. Simply imagine you've blanked your inner mental screen. Some people seen a big black board or others see a white screen.

Do the actual 'swishing' several times until you can imagine doing it in less than half a second.

The final steps are to break your current state: Think of something totally different like what you ate for breakfast or do times tables in your head.

And now think of the original cue image and notice that your feelings have changed!

I have used a simplified version of the NLP Swish technique in this article because the standard procedure utilises the visualising of a desired self-image which I know can be quite challenging to achieve if a person is feeling very low. The full step-by-step version of the technique, along with many more tips, can be found in "The NLP
ToolBox" and "The Half-Second Rule."

Low self esteem and it's associated 'victim behaviour' have a tendency to re-enforce themselves resulting in a person suffering with feelings of low energy. To break out of these kinds of habitual patterns and raise self esteem it is necessary to do something different. Anything else to break the patterns!

The NLP Swish technique is a very effective tool for breaking out of destructive patterns along with NLP's many other useful change methods.