Lesson #4 - The Magic and Power of Dialogue

The Answer is in the Questions!

Dear MLM Distributor & Members,

In the next three lessons, we’re going to talk more about the process of Dialogue, which is a way of connecting with people at a deeper level than can be achieved just by conversation.

We determined in the previous lesson that Natural Selling is a Problem Solving Exercise. To find out if people have the sort of problems that you can help them solve:

• You ask simple questions
• You listen
• You respond to the answers and feedback constantly to make sure both of you are on the same track.

That brings us to the second principle of Natural Selling, which is…

Natural Selling is Asking the Right Questions at the Right Time

As we have seen, if you start off by telling people about you, your company or your products, you are more than likely to cause the response of rejection and objections. It’s the Law of Giving and the Cause and Effect working against you! The essence of Natural Selling is not about presenting, convincing, manipulating or pushing someone to buy something. It's about asking questions and listening.

Now, I'm not talking about manipulative or leading questions that are designed to get the answers that you want to hear. If you use these questions whose answers are you likely to hear? Your own!

While manipulative questions can be very powerful there are drawbacks to using them:

• People don't like them being used on them.
• They are uncomfortable for most Distributors and Sales People who won't use them (it's not that they can't – they won't!).
• They are not effective for long term results.

While you can temporarily motivate people to do something, there is a very interesting phenomenon that takes place after a short while. They stop being motivated and stop doing what they agreed to do.

This behavior is called passive aggression or buyers remorse. You might see evidence of this when customers stop buying from you, or Distributors drop out from your organization. This is because they came on board for the wrong reasons. Your reasons, not theirs. This is the number one cause of the high customer and team attrition rate.

Natural Selling Questions Reveal the Inner Truth

In Natural Selling, the questions you use are intended to help you and the other person uncover their inner and external truth and values. It’s them, talking about them. After all, who has the history of what is, and has been, going on in their life, and what they want and why they want it? They do!

Your potential partner or customers and you each bring a key thing to the process. On the one hand, they have their history and know what they want… they have the answers. You, on the other hand, know the potential of your products or business opportunity, and whether it can work for them based on the answers they give you. When you get a match which will happen most of the time, you'll then be able to explain your solution to them so that it all makes sense. So all you need are the right types of questions!

You also need to know when to ask them.

Natural Selling uses a “Dialogue/Conversation Framework”* that explains what the types of questions are and when to use them to help you and the person you are talking with see clearly:

• Whether they have any problems that are looking for your type of solution.
• If they do, what those problems are and the depth of them.
• Whether they are deep enough for them to want to do something about them.

Your questions help people open their minds. Questions involve people. They allow people to think about their lives, themselves and their problems.

*In my book, 'How to Sell Network Marketing Without Fear, Anxiety or Losing Your Friends!' and on my CD's, all the types of questions and why and when you ask them are laid out for you in an easy to see chart.

Help People Persuade Themselves

Natural Selling is not about you persuading them, it’s about allowing people to persuade themselves as they come to see what is right for them.

This is how it works. As people respond to your questions they also listen to themselves as they are speaking. They process the information internally, feel the discomfort of their present circumstances if their present circumstances are not working for them, and decide to make a change. The degree that they will change will depend on the degree of discomfort they feel and the degree of their desire to move toward their dreams. If you get out of your own way and listen to them, and are not too hasty to come up with your solutions too quickly, they will listen to you.

Their answers help them think about their problems and to own the idea that they want to change if their problems and internal motivation is great enough.

It gives meaning to the saying “When I say it, they can doubt me. When they say it, it’s true.”

Asking questions eliminates the need for you to present and to learn closing and objection handling techniques, because who eliminates all the objections in the Dialogue? They do, because they are the ones talking and revealing how they feel about their problems to both you and themselves.

The “Sale is Made" in the Process

Learning how to ask the 'Right Types of Questions at the Right Time' will prepare a person to be receptive to your solutions and, essentially, allow them to 'sell themselves' on the idea that you can help. The “sale” is actually made during the process where both of you are discovering what your potential client or partner is looking for and why they want it.

It’s when you have asked enough questions, responded appropriately to their answers, discovered there is a need to make a change and that the other person is open to changing, that you propose you might know of a solution that might help them.

The Natural Selling Process can take two minutes or it can two years! It really depends on the other person and where they are in their lives. One thing is guaranteed. If you don't rush them and let your Personal Agenda guide you not manipulate you, if there is a sale to be made, you will make it every time.

Tomorrow we will take a close look at the other most powerful communication tool available to you – Listening.

Exercises

• Have you ever experienced “Buyers Remorse”? Think about the situation and what happened. Did you ever do business with that person or organization again?
• Open up a Dialogue with a stranger or someone you know by asking them a question and continue asking them questions. Remove your Personal Agenda. Just listen and ask questions based on the answers you get to your previous questions, or on something that comes to your mind. Don't talk about you or your ideas, or make comments. Just gently focus on asking questions. If you're asked a question, briefly answer it and follow your answer with a question of your own. See how “deep” you go exploring a particular issue. Observe your own feelings and how the other person is feeling.

To your success...

Lesson #3 - The Purpose of Your Business

The Secret to Getting What You Want

Dear MLM Distributor & Members, 

Welcome to Day 3. Today we are going to talk about the Purpose of your business.

The Purpose of a Business

Allow me ask you a question… and without intellectualizing it or thinking what you think might be a clever answer, please say out loud the first thing that comes to your mind…

What's the Purpose of a business…? Any business in the world?

Perhaps your answer might be something like, “Make money” or “To make a profit” or “To be fulfilled”.

Or, perhaps your answer might look like this, “To help others” or “To fulfill the needs of others” or “To help people solve their problems.”

If your answer to my question was similar to the first set, such as making money, ask yourself this, does your answer demonstrate a focus on you and your business or does it focus on other people? It's on you and what you want, isn’t it? To be more precise, this is your Personal Agenda.

And the second set? Your focus is on others, to help them get what they want. This is what I call coming from a place of Purpose.

The reason I ask the question 'What is the Purpose of a business?' is because your answer reveals a vitally important awareness for you… your words give you away!!

How? Because your thoughts and words are energy that people directly or indirectly feel. Have you ever thought they can consciously and subconsciously feel your real intent? That they know whether you are focused on your Personal Agenda, which is about you and what you want, or on your Purpose, which is about helping them get what they want?

To paraphrase an ancient saying…

Your words are an extension of your thoughts
Your actions are an extension of your words
And your habits are an extension of your actions

You demonstrate who you are, and people judge and respond to you, based on your words, your actions and your habits. And it all starts where? With a thought! Everything starts with a thought. That's why thoughts are so powerful. That's why choosing how you think and act will determine how life responds to you and what you receive in life.

So the question you have to ask yourself is, are you in business for you or are you in it for other people! You can discover the truth by answering the following question.

If your solution cannot solve someone's problem, is there any reason for them to do business with you?

No, there isn't! (The definition of a problem is simply the difference between what a person has and what they want!)

So there are two important dynamics here, Purpose and Personal Agenda. It's a matter of choice. There is no right or wrong in choosing your focus to be one or the other. However, what you choose will reflect your long term results.

While you think about this, take a moment to consider the dynamics mentioned previously about focusing on yourself.

If you are focused on yourself all the time, is your life likely to be a struggle to get what you want and even to maintain it? Conversely, when you effectively focus on others, and know how to help them, do you think your intentions and desires can be achieved with less effort?

Another ancient saying says, "When you seek to serve, you ultimately serve yourself!" It's just a matter of knowing how to do it!

In Natural Selling while it's important to focus on your Purpose, it's also important not to lose sight of achieving your Personal Agenda because that is also why you are here on this planet.

The question that you must ask yourself however is, "Do I make my Personal Agenda my principal focus, or is there another way that will allow me to effortlessly and easily help others get what they want that will ultimately allow me to get what I want without any anxiety in the process of doing so?"

If you choose the latter then Natural Selling is exactly that, for the Purpose of a business, in Natural Selling terms, is not about you, it's simply about helping other people solve their problems… And that is the first principle of Natural Selling…

Principle #1 Natural Selling is helping other people solve their problems

Now, if you know how to help people solve their problems, and you can do it with your own solutions, you will achieve what? Your Personal Agenda, which is your own reason for being in business.

Selling As A Problem Solving Exercise.

So if the purpose of a business is to help other people solve their problems, you could say that selling is merely a Problem Solving Exercise. It's not a telling or persuading exercise. It's all to do with problem solving.

You could call yourself a PROBLEM SOLVER! With problems come opportunities and the opportunity for you is to help others get what they want and to be rewarded for it.

Tomorrow we will look closely at how you practically and effortlessly do this by using a powerful process of communicating called Dialogue.

See you tomorrow

Exercises

• Reflect on how by serving others, you can achieve what it is that you want. Two quotes to think about:
  
• “You can get anything you want if you help enough people get what they want” – Zig Ziglar
  
• “Help me, Rod, help me to help you!” – Jerry Maguire in the movie Jerry Maguire.
  

To your success...

Lesson #2 - Build Your Business on Solid Principles.

The Importance of Starting Out the Correct Way

Dear MLM Distributor & Members,

Welcome to Day 2! How were the exercises yesterday? Remember, by doing the exercises you will improve your understanding of the material I cover with you.

Today, we are going to talk about how to build your business using timeless principles that will achieve lasting results for you.

Principles

Imagine knowing how to talk with anyone, anywhere and at anytime about your business, never having to say much about who you are or what you’re doing, unless you are asked, and during the Dialogue find out:

• Precisely where the other person is coming from and what their problems are (if they have any) and how they feel about them.
• The depth of their desire to change their present situation.
• Precisely what to say that will interest them in looking at your products or opportunity because it's all based on what they told you.

If you could do that what do you think would happen to your business? Do you think that talking with people, making and returning calls would be anxiety free and your success would soar? Of course it would!

And can you do this? Of course you can! You can do anything! It's simply a matter of changing what you are doing and using a way of communication that resonates with you and your inner truth.

Change How You Think and Communicate

By changing two things – the way you think and the way you communicate – you can achieve the success you’re looking for without the anxiety normally associated with selling. You can bring harmony into your life, and the lives of others, by learning how to communicate with people in a way that assures every conversation you have will end with something positive.

It could be an agreement to partner or become a customer, an agreement to continue the conversation or perhaps just a conversation that leaves the other person and yourself feeling good about each other. This is what I mean when I talk about every conversation being anxiety free and having a successful outcome.

Natural Selling was designed to achieve this outcome for you and to overcome the problems we discussed in lesson #1. Natural Selling is based on 4 principles and uses a process of communicating called Dialogue.

You can apply this process to any relationship, not just business. Its application is universal. Dialogue allows you to relate with people in a way that puts all the focus on them, from start to finish. As a result, people feel good about you and respond to you positively.

Techniques versus Principles

Natural Selling is not about techniques or is something that only fits the times of today. It is a way of communicating that’s been with us for a long time and will stay with us forever. It goes beyond selling – it’s the essence of building relationships. It’s where “Rejection” is replaced by “Relationship”.

Techniques in communication can be transient. They can work for one person and not another. They might work in one situation but not a different one. On the other hand, methods based on principle-based communication can be transferred and will work in all situations. The following poem illustrates the point:

“Techniques are many, Principles are few. Techniques will vary, Principles never do!”

Selling is To Serve

Unlike the modern way or conventional selling practices of Selling by Persuasion, if you were to look in the old English dictionaries you'll find that the definition of selling was 'To serve' and 'To Exchange'.

This is Natural Selling! Instead of trying to persuade others to do what you want them to, Natural Selling is a process that allows you to come from an inner desire to serve and allow others to persuade themselves!

For the rest of this course, we will be looking at the principles and philosophy of “Natural Selling” and how you can put the concept of 'Selling is to Serve' into practice. Tomorrow, we will look at the first principle which covers the purpose of your business.

Exercises

• Think about a technique that you’ve been taught or heard about. It might be a “close”, for example. Review how this has worked in practice and if it might have worked in some circumstances and not others.
• If you have Stephen Covey’s book "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People" review the chapter “Inside Out” where he talks about the “Personality” and “Character” ethics. Also, pay close attention to Habit 5 “Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood”.

To your success...

Lesson #1 - Rejection, and What Causes It.

Dear MLM Distributor & Members,

Welcome to this 7 part e-course! Each day, for 7 days, I will put a post here with the lesson for that day and also some short exercises to illustrate the lesson. I encourage you to complete those exercises. They will help you “absorb and understand” the ideas and concepts that I talk about. I want to thank you for joining me on this program which will cover:

Why the conventional sales techniques and systems taught to Distributors and Direct Sales people:

• Are ineffective for most of them.
• Actually cause the objections and rejection that they would prefer not to have.
• Are the reason for the high team and customer attrition rate.

How you can reverse this and change the results for you and your team by adopting a different approach that I call Natural Selling.

OK, let’s begin!

Lesson #1

Do You Make This Mistake When Talking With Potential Customers or Partners?

The Way You Communicate Will Determine The Way People Respond To You

Ask yourself this. What is the greatest fear that holds back most Distributors and Direct Sellers (and perhaps yourself) from talking with people about their business, products or services? If you are like most it will be the fear of Rejection and all the painful feelings that come with that.

Two Types of Rejection

In my experience, there are two kinds of rejection:

• The flat in your face “Not interested” type of rejection; and
• The type where someone has looked at your solution and finds it doesn’t really fit what they need.

The second one can be disappointing but it doesn’t necessarily feel personal. So in this program I’m addressing the first one!

The Cause of Rejection

Have you considered that…

• if you do have feelings of anxiety about talking with people about your Business Opportunity and/or Products…
• or you feel the need to get pumped up before you meet prospective customers,
• or you drag your feet before making those calls and your anxiety prevents you from talking effectively with them

… it could be it’s the way you have chosen to communicate, or think you have to communicate, that is causing this?

Life is full of choices and what you choose to think, say or do, will reflect how other people will think, say or do in response to you.

Let’s look at this more closely and explore the underlying causes of what is holding you back, before I start proposing a possible solution for you.

Why does it make sense to do this? Well, because before I can start proposing a solution would you agree with me that the solution should be based on discovering what is behind this problem called rejection and the fear associated with it, and whether you identify with it before I explain what you can do about it?

If I start off by telling you what you should do about it, then I'm no different than all the other books and trainings that give you quick fixes, systems and techniques!

There are two key things to grasp:

• People do things for their reasons not ours. They are motivated by their personal interest. You may have heard this referred to as the “What’s In It For Me?” syndrome; and
• Most people resist being “told” what to do or persuaded to do things, but they do like to learn what to do and how to do it.

And yet isn't it true that what most Distributors or Direct Sellers do when they hear someone express their problems or needs, such as a need for money or good health, is to launch in with their solutions without discovering much, if anything, about the person’s situation or needs and the history behind it? They go ahead with a “one size fits all” fire hose presentation that basically “tells” them what to do.

And does one size fit all? Or are we all unique in how we see things? If you choose to act on the one size fits all view, then rejection and objections is the natural consequence of that.

The truth is, it doesn’t matter much what you think about your product or your solutions and whether they are going to work for someone. It’s what the other person thinks. So if you start your conversations by overpowering people and coming up with your solutions too early, most will withdraw. As a result you have to learn the conventional selling techniques of objection handling, closing and mental strategies to overcome the rejection you created in the first place! It becomes a 'numbers game' that requires a great deal of effort and time to make it work for you.

People like to do things for their reasons not yours!

Observe your own experiences. Have you ever been in a situation where you asked someone for a solution to a problem and they started with the words, “You know what you should do…?” Did you feel resentful or annoyed, even though you asked for help? If you did, it’s probably because you didn’t feel involved and your own uniqueness and knowledge was not being acknowledged. It's the same for most people.

The Natural Law Of Giving – Working For You Or Against You?

The Law of Giving works like this. What you give is what you get. Other people's actions and words are a reflection of your actions and words. It's like a smile. If you smile at people, most will smile back. This is the law working for you.

However, most Distributor's (and sales people) inadvertently have the law working against them by telling, presenting or persuading people to do things they want them to do. Result? Most people will tell them back! How? By one or more of three ways:

• Rejection
• Objections
• Passive Aggression. When people say they will do something and don't! This is also called 'Buyers Remorse'.

In selling, if you want the Law of Giving to work for you and have people listen to you and your solutions, then listen with the intent to understand them first.

Tomorrow we will look at how you can do this and build your team and customers with effortless ease based on solid principles and methods that work…. all the time! See you tomorrow!

Exercises

• Reflect on how you feel when a salesperson, charity solicitor or telemarketer tries to get you to do something.
• Think about your reaction when you see an advertisement on TV or in print. If you paid attention to it, why is that?

Doing these exercises will help you understand and use the material we will be discussing over the next 6 days.

To your success...

Chinavasion.com

Hi @LL,

Do you want to make some extra bucks from Chinavasion?

- Affiliate Program -

In short, if you send someone to Chinavasion online, and that person makes an order, you get paid 6% commission on that sale.

If the people you refer to our website don't spend anything, you don't get paid anything. If they spend a lot, you get paid a lot too! Our affiliates program is good for us because it brings in new customers, and it's good for you because you can earn large amounts of money without having to actually sell anything.

It's free to be a Chinavasion Affiliate, and you're not obliged to meet any targets. Sign up now and try it out!

http://www.chinavasion.com/?ref=2222

Earn 6% of the total product order value (not including the shipping costs).

For example, if a customer sent by you makes an order for $500, you will automatically receive $30. You can be a Chinavasion affiliate for ever, and there is no limit to the amount of money you can make from commissions.

You can use Chinavasion product pictures and descriptions in any online or offline marketing. You can say anything you like to advertise Chinavasion as long as it is true.

Earn money by promoting the Affiliates Program itself! If someone follows your affiliate link to Chinavasion, and signs up as an affiliate, you will get commission from THEIR sales!

You will get instantly paid 1% of any order total on any sales that they refer. They will be identified as YOUR referred Affiliate FOR EVER, so WHENEVER they get referred sales commission, so do YOU! The whole system is automated and uses the same login, links, and cookies as your normal affiliate account. You can just sit back and let the money roll in!

P.S. If you are not sure where to begin, just go to the Affiliate-FAQ-Page and sign up.

http://www.chinavasion.com/affiliate_faq.php?osCsid=177636618c1a9f742bf64f7ce3570aab

"How To Sell Network Marketing Without Fear, Anxiety or Losing Your Friends!"

MLM Distributors…

"Free MLM Training E-Course Reveals How You Can Build Your MLM Business Without Fear, Anxiety Or Losing Your Friends!"

The "7 Steps To Natural Selling" MLM Training E-Course Will Help You Make Objections And Rejection A Thing Of The Past. These Obstacles Will No Longer Be A Barrier To Your Success In MLM!

Dear MLM Distributor & Members,

Do potential customers and partners react to you defensively... reject you and your offers, and leave you feeling down and discouraged?

Do you find the selling techniques and systems that work for some MLM Distributors... just don’t feel right for you?

If so, you’re not alone and there is a reason for this. Amazing though it may sound, the very techniques and strategies that you may have been taught may actually be the cause of the problems!

That’s right. The "objection handling" and "closing" techniques typically taught to MLM Distributors actually CAUSE more resistance and make things worse! It's crazy!!

There is a solution to this and it’s an approach I call “Natural Selling”. It's an approach based on timeless principles of communication that will help you build your MLM business easily and effectively.

So that you can see for yourself what this is about and if it’s the right thing for you, I have created a special 7 part MLM training ecourse that will explain clearly…

• Why the conventional sales methods taught to distributors and direct sales people are ineffective and, even worse, actually cause objections and rejection; and
• What you can do about this by adopting a different approach that I call Natural Selling.

Each day, for 7 days, I will post it here for you to focus on a specific idea and a brief exercise to help you put the ideas you learn into practice straight away.

Here’s some of what’s in the e-course…

• What really causes rejection and objections.
• Why building your MLM business based on solid principles, and not techniques and systems, will eliminate rejection and attract people to you.
• Knowing the critical difference between focusing on your Purpose or your Personal Agenda, and how it can change your outcome… every time!
• The Power behind Asking Questions.
• The Magic of Listening and how it alone will draw people to you like a magnet
• How to allow people to persuade themselves to look at your solutions…
• And much, much more!!

At the end of the course, you’ll have a solid grasp of how “Natural Selling” can help you discover the truth about selling and allow you to start applying the ideas in your MLM business to get the results you want.

P.S. I guarantee 100% if the foundation of what you are currently doing isn’t working for you, and you continue doing it, tomorrow will yield the same results. Change the foundation and you'll change the results in your MLM business.