Dear MLM Distributor & Members,
Principle #3 Listening to What is Being Meant, Not Just What is Being Said.
Ask yourself. Do you really listen to people? Do you really listen to and actually attempt to understand what they are saying and meaning without letting your own interpretations get in the way?
This is how we normally listen. 45% of the time is spent doing what? Working out what we're going to say next - right?
Another 45% of the time is spent waiting for a gap in the conversation so that we can say it!!! Leaving only 10% of the time for actual listening!
So are we listening when we spend only 10 % of the time doing it? No we're not!
So what percentage of time must we listen? 100%!
To actually listen to, hear and understand what another person is saying, we must spend 100% of the time listening.
Now, you might ask, how do you listen 100% of the time? Well, here are a few clues.
First, you can think 10 times faster than most people can talk. If you know how the features of your solutions solve problems, you'll hear what specific features are relevant and how to talk about them later as specific advantages and benefits.
It takes the guessing out of what to present and how to present it. Imagine having all your features in lots of automatic drawers in your mind… just like your CD drawer in your computer… and having the correct ones automatically pop out based on what you hear a person wants.
Secondly, you don't have to think about what you're going to ask next, because what you're going to ask is found in the answers you get to your previous questions! It's all there! It's just that most Distributors and Direct Sellers don't listen to the answers. They are too busy waiting to say what they want to say and what happens? They keep meeting resistance most of the time!
Let's look at this more closely. What do you normally listen for when people reply to your questions? Do you listen to what you want to hear with the intent to reply based on what you want to say? Or do you listen with the intent to understand where the other person is coming from and reply to them based on their own deep inner truth?
People Have Two Truths
For example, if you ask a person whether they like their job, or whether they like the medication they are taking, are you hoping they are going to say no? In Natural Selling, it doesn't matter what they answer, because people carry "two truths" and the Natural Selling process allows people to reveal both sides of their truths, and which is the strongest one.
Here is an illustration. If I ask you whether you like where you live you could reply in two ways. Yes or No. If you said, yes, I would simply ask you what you like about it and ask you to expand on that. I would then test the truth of what you told me by asking later, "If you could live anywhere else, where would that be?"
If you gave me another location you will have demonstrated that there is another truth to explore, and one of those two 'truths' is going to reveal itself as stronger than the other.
If you replied 'No' to my first question, I would still ask the same questions!
The third thing you can do is to stop re-interpreting what people say to you based on your own biases or life's experiences, or your own judgments, prejudices and thoughts! All this does is get in your way of understanding. People don't think what you think they think! You're thinking that they do can get in your way!
For example, have you ever had someone respond to a remark you made and it was totally out of context with what you meant, and you wondered where he or she was coming from? Well, it's likely that the other person was interpreting what they thought you were talking about. Do you do the same thing to others?
Listening is such a powerful skill and more than anything else I know, if you learn how to listen to people you'll find that they will immediately be attracted to you and most will want to listen to you. A large part of my book is spent demonstrating how you can do this.
Now you've covered some of the basics behind the importance of listening, let's turn your attention to what you're listening for. We'll recap the Principle:
Natural Selling is Listening to What is Being Meant, not Just What is Being Said.
The two key words here are, said and meant. Said is the logical or factual side of the problem solving equation. It comprises about 10% of the problem. Meant is the personal, feelings or subjective side…and it comprises the other 90%.
In Natural Selling what is important is to focus more on what is being meant. Why? Well, do people make changes based mostly on logic or feelings? Feelings!
Allow me to illustrate it this way. Think of someone saying they don't have enough money. Is that a fact or a feeling? It's a fact! They might say it with feeling, but it's still a fact.
So if you were to ask someone, 'What one thing would make a difference in your life?', which is a logical question, and they said, "More money", which is a logical answer… and you then responded with your solution by saying, 'I can show you how to do that'… you would be responding logically and factually. And what response do you think you would get from most people? Negative or positive? Mostly they will reject your idea.
The reason is that talking logically with people won't help you very much to help them because you're only addressing 10% of their problem if they have one!
If you want to be of help, find out what is behind this problem called 'lack of money'. In other words, find out what is causing it, what it means to them personally and how they feel about it. Find out the meaning of what they say, not just what they are saying. You will find their answers are totally unique to them, and if you respond to their uniqueness as opposed to coming out with a canned presentation or script, you will automatically attract them to you.
"Facts belong to the world. Feelings belong to the individual". If you ask without manipulation, most people will tell you.
It's also where the relationship and the sale is. To be more precise, it's where both of you can discover if there is a need and the depth of desire to do something about it.
So understanding how to listen and what to listen for and how to respond is vital in the communication process.
And when you understand what someone wants and why they want it.... you will be able to customize your solution and present it in such a precise way that it will mean something to the other person based on how they see things. Why will you be able to do this? Because they will have told you everything you need to know to make your winning presentation.
Think about what we have discussed today and I’ll see you tomorrow when we will look at the fourth principle, Feeding Back What You Think You Heard!
Exercises
- Continue yesterdays exercise. Each time you have a conversation with someone today, turn it into a Dialogue, Focus simply on LISTENING to them! As far as possible, don’t say anything yourself except to ask questions and keep the Dialogue moving along.
- When in Dialogue, observe yourself and be aware of how often you have the urge to interrupt or finish the other person’s sentence for them! Ask yourself whether you're really serving yourself (or the other person) by doing this!
To your success...
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