Dear MLM Distributor & Members,
Today, we look at a very important part of the process.
Principle # 4 Feeding Back What You Think You Heard
To ensure continual understanding, feeding back what you think you heard, or clarifying, is something you will learn to do on a constant basis throughout your conversation, making sure that you're on the right track, using phrases like…
- "Let me repeat that to make sure I understand what you're saying” or
- "Would you go over that again to make sure I understand…"
Don’t take anything for granted as you progress with your discussion.
If you don’t understand something, ask the other person to repeat what they said or elaborate further. Also, summarizing what you think you heard gives the other person the opportunity to correct any misunderstandings. Words and phrases can often mean different things to different people. Remember, we are all individuals and we each have our own view of the world!
The ultimate feedback is at the end of your conversation and you are presenting your solution. This is the time when you are in a position to summarize what the other person is looking for, why they are looking for it and how you can help them get it by offering your solution. If you feedback, recap and present this based on everything they told you, you will have truly demonstrated a complete understanding. And people love people who understand them.
Let me illustrate this by describing a time when a lady called Barbara called me to ask about “Natural Selling”. She had read an article about Natural Selling in a magazine and was exploring the idea that it might be something from which she could benefit.
She asked me, “Could you tell me what Natural selling is all about?” I gave her a simple answer. “You know how many salespeople get anxious about selling because of all that manipulation they have to use and the rejection they have to go through? Well, Natural Selling is a way that will allow you to effortlessly and more quickly get the results you want, without using manipulation or techniques, and without the anxiety normally associated with selling. Would that be something you are looking for?”
When she answered “Yes”, I kept the focus on her and started with a favorite question, “Perhaps you can tell me more precisely what you’re looking for?” The conversation lasted about 10 minutes. During that time I said not one thing about Natural Selling or about me. I offered no observations or statements when she answered my questions. I just asked questions around what she was doing and, in particular, around the challenges she faced and how she felt about them. I listened, asked more questions, clarified and qualified as we progressed.
At the end of those 10 minutes, I asked her permission to allow me to feed back to her what I knew about her, the problems she faced and what she was looking for. During this time she twice stopped me and asked me how I knew certain things! She said that she had never spoken about them before to anyone. My reply was “From you – where else would it have come from because we have never met before, have we?” It's extraordinary what people will tell you if you listen to them. Why? Because you'll be one in a million who does listen, and if you do it with love and care, you become a very valuable person.
You create value in you and everything you represent with your ability to ask questions, listen and feedback.
Finally I asked Barbara, “If Natural Selling could help you solve these challenges and get the results you’re looking for by learning how to communicate more effectively, is that something that you would like to happen?” She answered, “Yes!” And I explained how my program would help her based on all the needs as she had outlined them to me. In two weeks she was on one of the TeleClasses I was giving at the time.
The point is that by not focusing on selling my services, but focusing on understanding her problems and getting behind them to see whether I could help, we both saw her challenges more clearly.
As well, when you understand what a person is really looking for and why they want it you will be able to customize your solution and present it so that it personally means something to them.
Tomorrow, we will review the material we have covered and take a look at the next step.
Exercises
- Have you ever been in a situation where you have been talking with someone and you realize that you’ve been talking “at cross purposes” – they meant something completely different from what you thought they did? Think about how that happened and the consequences of it.
- When you’re talking with people today, make a point of feeding back to people what they are saying to you. Don’t overdo it! Especially ask for clarification with words or phrases they might use that are unfamiliar to you.
- Go to a busy restaurant and listen closely to two people talking. Observe whether their conversation is on the same track or whether they are having two or more different conversations! If it's two or more, ask yourself whether you do the same thing and if you do, what you can do to correct it.
To your success...
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